Squibblog

halfway mark

The year is half over and, thankfully, I don't feel panicked that it's slipping away from me. We have really packed a whole lot in to these last six months: the kids rushing ahead in leaps and bounds, Soy and I toughing out the GFC by keeping as many balls in the air as we can.

In about March, when I was feeling particularly low about the economy and our ability to make a living working freelance, I actually went out and did an interview for a job as a lawyer. I thought that if things got really desperate, I would use the skills I know will make money. Boy, that was a wake up call. The very idea that I might be stepping back into that life made me sick to the stomach.

Maybe it was my look of quiet desperation, but soon afterwards Soy said to me 'we've worked too bloody hard to let this thing beat us.' And that day my attitude changed too. Recession or no recession, I will make a living working on my own terms. That was the day the photography business became a solid goal in my head, and that was the day I stopped taking every bit of bad news personally. We just pick up and move on.

We managed to finish the financial year a little ahead of where we were last year, which was a very, very pleasant surprise. Work is still coming in, including some photography work which makes me giddy with happiness (and more than a bit nervous), our children still have shoes on their feet and I wake up each day happy that I only answer to my clients and my family.

Fortunately any dimming in my positive attitude in the early part of the year didn't translate to the kids, who have both been incredibly happy this year. Zac is getting all the benefits promised by attending an infants school (a school with classes only from Kindergarten to Year 2): he's becoming a leader, understanding a little bit of responsibility and maybe even some empathy. He's also growing into his limbs and feet, so he's more coordinated and confident.

Nell is itching to get to school. Not that she envies the kids who have to go every day: she still loves the luxury of having Mondays and Tuesdays to herself. But she's reading, writing and adding - all self taught. I can see that next year, when she's dressed in her school uniform and toting a giant bag, I'll shed a few tears but she will not.

I'm looking forward to the second half of the year, in which I will turn 40 and see my baby past the milestone of 5. Maybe there'll be a twinge of sadness, but mostly I think I'll be feeling excitement. Things are looking rosy indeed. 

in praise of male teachers

Zac has been enjoying school even more than usual this past term. And I put it all down to his new teacher. His original teacher left after term 1 and I must say I was a little concerned about how Zac would react to a change.

Turns out that Mr K was the best thing that could have happened in Zac's Year 2 life. Just the right balance of nice guy and cool dude, Mr K plays drums in a band, does karate and put in place a strict homework policy. Zac thinks Mr K is 'fantastic', Mr K told us he thinks Zac is 'awesome'. It's a match made in heaven, obviously.

I don't want to be flippant about this change, though. Because I think it has been significant. Aged 7 and a half, Zac is really starting to look around for male role models outside his family. Fortunately he finds one in his classroom. The difference in Zac's attitude to his teacher is subtle (because he has always loved his teachers, all women up to now) but it is definitely there. Just a little more attentive to school work, just a little more willing to share his ideas about school at home.

Swimming lessons have also yielded a male teacher this term: a teenaged boy really. Of course Zac worships him and tries hard to impress him. As a result Zac is moving up a grade in swimming and I put it all down to the motivation provided by a bloke.

This post isn't, of course, meant to denigrate in any way the contribution of the female teachers Zac has had. But there is a definite need for male primary school (and learn-to-swim) teachers for little boys who are just beginning to think about what it's like to be men.

and another thing

Okay, okay. So I'm a little self-obsessed at the moment. But I hadn't forgotten about how the kids spent the weekend, even if I didn't actually blog about it.

Zac had a highlight in his AFL career, possibly his life, on Saturday night. He was picked to play for his Auskick team as the half-time entertainment in the biggest AFL game of the year (in Sydney): the Swans vs. the Magpies. Nell and I stayed home, so I can only give second-hand details. By all accounts Zac was extremely excited about playing and, according to Soy, totally self possessed standing on the field in front of 44,000 people. He kicked, he ran, he did a specky mark, he kicked a goal. Someone needs to tell him if life gets better than that. Personally, I suspect that it will take a lot to top that experience for him. 

I know that everyone thinks their child is talented. And I know that I am far from objective about the wonders of my children, but Zac really does seem to be good at AFL. He played soccer last year and was a bit mediocre at it, but when the coaches come up to you after a game and say that your son is an asset to the team, that's a good thing, right? He's hit his sporting stride with AFL which makes me smile because it's the only code of football I can sit down and watch. And that makes me smile twice because I'm typing this while Soy is at a friend's house watching the Rugby League State of Origin, a game I no longer have any time for (and refuse to have on).

a fine day

It was incredibly pleasant to ride Zac up to school today in the glorious winter sunshine. Not a cloud in the sky! After what feels like months of rain, we rode through the still wet streets looking in at gardens and greeting cats with a whole new attitude. It was a little bit like riding through Sesame Street - every shop we passed the shopkeepers were coming out to greet the day and say 'hi'. I guess they were recovering from cabin fever just like us.

The other reason I was so delighted that the rain had taken a little holiday from us was because tomorrow I am shooting my first (paid) wedding. I am so glad that my lovely bride and groom will be celebrating their outdoor wedding on the Harbour foreshore without having to duck for cover during every passing shower.

foody inspiration

I've spent a lot of time recently photographing food for the recipe book Nell's school is compiling. Never having done food photography before, I was a little scared to start with, but I've warmed right up to the task and have been thoroughly enjoying myself!

quiet day with the girl

We have been hectic lately. What with my nervous energy from launching my new photography business, which followed swiftly on the heels of finishing the University semester, I am feeling a little frazzled. And strangely unable to relax.

That's where Nell fits in. She has an unerring knack for creating peaceful relaxation when the urge takes her (unlike her amazing ability to claim centre-stage in any room, when she desires the spotlight). Today she set up four work stations on the dining room table: for four different craft activities. We have a choice of soft-toy sketching, flower drawing (textas, not pencil), plastic flower making or making something with sticky notes. We haven't got to that one yet. Four hours of concentration later and she's still in her quiet, peaceful world.

Elissa Baxter, Sydney children's photographer

Well, I've finally done it. I've put aside all my reservations and finally launched the business I have always wanted: as a professional photographer. After years of pottering about with my cameras and darkroom, I really began focussing on digital photography in this last year, honing my portrait skills and learning the ins and outs of Photoshop.

And it's all come to fruition now with this: Elissa Baxter photography launched today and open for business.

This is probably the most exciting thing I've ever done (professionally speaking) and I can't quite believe it's real...

please excuse me while I do a little work

Wow, I have a lot on. I'm spending my days and nights thinking, reading and writing. It's great because I find the more I write the more I have to write. Maybe a little of it will spill over here, but we both know it's not that likely.

While I'm on the topic of work, I'm just adding here my Technorati Profile for a little job I'm doing. 

More later.

connection and cruelty

I love Myf Warhurst. I like the way she knows daggy pop music trivia, I like the way she knows cool rock trivia and I like the way she blushes on TV. But I began to love her when I started following her on Twitter. Obviously I don't feel like I know her, never having met her and all, but I feel like she's a normal woman who has to get on the radio everyday and TV once a week.

And because I love her, I really felt for her when anonymous critics started hoeing into her about the dress she wore to the Logies. 

These two things sum up my love/hate relationship with Web 2.0. I love it because everyone (especially me) gets to have their say. And I hate it because more and more, I'm noticing, it brings out the worst in people. Anonymity brings out the catty bitchiness and misogyny that is lurking just beneath the surface in everyday discourse.

Old media, as it's called by 'New Media' types, had the benefit of editing. Someone who knew you personally and had some say in whether or not you held a job, got to read your words and say 'steady on' when things got rough. You had to look that person in the eye and explain why what you've written should be published. More importantly, in my view, was that in Old Media there were by-lines. You had to own what you say. Catty comments about someone's weight or clothes had to printed, on real paper, with your name underneath.

I love the freedom the internet provides for little self publishers like me. And I love the way I can find other real people and read what they think. But I hate the idea that no one needs to own up to hurtful comments, things that probably made Myf go home and cry. And when I read them I felt a bit of Myf's pain. She didn't tweet about it, but then neither would I.

That's the two-headed beast Web 2.0 can be: it makes us all so connected, and yet far enough apart that we don't have to watch each other cry.

getting crafty

Last week my dear friend J and I went to the Finders Keepers markets at the Carriageworks. We thought it would be marketty, but in fact it was very much a night out, with wine, art and stacks and stacks of people. By the end of our first go-round we were a little overwhelmed with both sensory overload and hand-made crafty lust.

We saw the lovely Sixandahalfstitches who was selling her sensational kids capes, and then we both spent more than we expected on clothes that were too beautiful to resist, like this beautiful waistcoat from Holly Chalmers (J bought the lazy jacket and it looks fab on her). 

But more than the buying of lovely things, I was inspired to make more lovely things. I'm not particularly good at wearing things I make, but I am very good at making things for Nell. With that in mind I set to finding the perfect overlocker on eBay and (after losing several auctions) I finally bought one. Now I'm investigating how to make pattern slopers so I can re-produce some of the gorgeous clothes I see in the shops for Nell.